Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Tuesday icks

This was written Tuesday night but my internet was out.

I don’t know what my problem has been the last few days. I did end up having ice cream sunday night.  I had a Dixie cup – 100 calories.  I didn’t feel bad, I had no guilt it felt right.  That should of alarmed me.  During that night my kids were up every hour.  Ty wet the bed and emma, poor thing, she has a cold and kept waking up from coughing.  At about 230am I was trying to rock her back to sleep and heard my tummy groan. 

Now I normally don’t eat at 9pm so I am sure while I am sleeping it groans a lot ..going 9 hours without food.  But I don’t normally hear it.  Monday morning at 230am I did hear it.  I felt it.  I fed it.

I had an oreo cookie.   then I put Emma to bed only for her to wake about 5 minutes later.  I had another one while I rocked her again.  Then I had a spoonful of Peanut butter.  That morning I weigh myself and I gained a pound.  Do I think the PB and oreo I ate 3 hours before weighing in cost me that pound no…it was the portion control during the day and the day before.  SO I was up a pound and I still had the impact of my cheating to be added in.  Wake up call?


I got to work Monday morning after fighting with the kids to eat; to get dressed; that I was sorry I had to take the to Daycare because I have to work; that daddy was not home because it was snowing.  my blood pressure was already up and I was already stressed.  work just went down hill I had a nasty-gram from a very evil person I work with..grr it was just a bad bad Monday.

I battled myself all day.  I wanted to eat. I wanted to seek that comfort from my food.  Instead of focusing on my work, I had to devote about 30% towards telling myself it was not worth it.  At lunch I went to the indoor gym and walked.  I walked as fast as I could. 

The afternoon brought another nasty gram and more stress.  I went to bootcamp.  I took my frustration out on a medicine ball.  It was a great bootcamp.  That night Emma could not sleep.  I had to hold by a vaporizer for her to breath better and get some sleep.  In between my different attempt to lay her down I ate.  I had a spoonful of peanut butter and then another, and then a rice crispy treat and some almond.  I just ate.

I don’t know why I have to eat to feel better but I know its wrong.  I don’t know how to overcome this.  today I again had some chocolate candy's.  I am so tired and so grumpy.  I am sitting here typing and watching the biggest loser and I am not inspired to workout ; I want take a nap and to eat something.  I didn’t workout today but I will workout tomorrow.  I need to get a grip on myself and not let the stress get to me.

So I am looking for suggestions on eat in response to stress and boredom. 


Jennifer said...

Lack of sleep and a bad day is a trigger for most people. Its all in how you manage it. We have all been there so dont feel bad. I try to think about how I will feel After I eat something I shouldnt(and more than I should have of it). I hope you are having a better day.

fatgirlwearingthin said...

I am sorry to say that I have no advice other than to stay out of the kitchen, which is something I can't even do when I've already made up my mind to eat. However, one thing that helps me on days when I know it's going poorly is that I count all of my calories out for the day and put various 100 calorie pack baggies on the kitchen counter and/or in the frig (fruit, veggies, popcorn, whatever). When the urge strikes, I can grab whatever I want, however many I want but when the baggies are gone, I'm done. It brings a sense of comfort in a way because I see in front of me that there are things I 'can' have instead of feeling like the kitchen is closed for the day.