This was written Tuesday night but my internet was out.
I don’t know what my problem has been the last few days. I did end up having ice cream sunday night. I had a Dixie cup – 100 calories. I didn’t feel bad, I had no guilt it felt right. That should of alarmed me. During that night my kids were up every hour. Ty wet the bed and emma, poor thing, she has a cold and kept waking up from coughing. At about 230am I was trying to rock her back to sleep and heard my tummy groan.
Now I normally don’t eat at 9pm so I am sure while I am sleeping it groans a lot ..going 9 hours without food. But I don’t normally hear it. Monday morning at 230am I did hear it. I felt it. I fed it.
I had an oreo cookie. then I put Emma to bed only for her to wake about 5 minutes later. I had another one while I rocked her again. Then I had a spoonful of Peanut butter. That morning I weigh myself and I gained a pound. Do I think the PB and oreo I ate 3 hours before weighing in cost me that pound no…it was the portion control during the day and the day before. SO I was up a pound and I still had the impact of my cheating to be added in. Wake up call?
I got to work Monday morning after fighting with the kids to eat; to get dressed; that I was sorry I had to take the to Daycare because I have to work; that daddy was not home because it was snowing. my blood pressure was already up and I was already stressed. work just went down hill I had a nasty-gram from a very evil person I work with..grr it was just a bad bad Monday.
I battled myself all day. I wanted to eat. I wanted to seek that comfort from my food. Instead of focusing on my work, I had to devote about 30% towards telling myself it was not worth it. At lunch I went to the indoor gym and walked. I walked as fast as I could.
The afternoon brought another nasty gram and more stress. I went to bootcamp. I took my frustration out on a medicine ball. It was a great bootcamp. That night Emma could not sleep. I had to hold by a vaporizer for her to breath better and get some sleep. In between my different attempt to lay her down I ate. I had a spoonful of peanut butter and then another, and then a rice crispy treat and some almond. I just ate.
I don’t know why I have to eat to feel better but I know its wrong. I don’t know how to overcome this. today I again had some chocolate candy's. I am so tired and so grumpy. I am sitting here typing and watching the biggest loser and I am not inspired to workout ; I want take a nap and to eat something. I didn’t workout today but I will workout tomorrow. I need to get a grip on myself and not let the stress get to me.
So I am looking for suggestions on eat in response to stress and boredom.