Thursday, August 27, 2015

Starting from scratch....

Time to start over.  I have undone all my work that was previously documented on this blog

So much of what is in this first post is what I am feeling now.  I would prefer to do nothing, I want to be the one behind the camera. No photos please!  I am sad all the time I try to use food to offset that. Its a downward spiral.  One that I am familiar with.

Why did I go down this road again?  How to do I get the fuck off this road?

The funny part is people would tell you I am crazy.

Have I still been working out? YES.  I even did the Syracuse Half Ironman this year (1.2 swim, 56 Bike and 13.1 run).  I was working out more than anyone else.

But I keep gaining weight.

Now I am struggling with the workout portion.  Physically its not as easy to workout, and having pain from trying to run at this weight. 

In 2011 I was able to get down to 177,  For a long time I managed to maintain around 190-203 range.  Last summer on August 3rd I was 203, and I finished Irongirl and I felt AMAZING.

I don't know what happened after that.  I started to gain I still worked out but I was gaining.  I am now at 234 and depressed.

I know I need to track my food but that only lasts till lunch. and by biggest problem is binging on food at night.  when everyone is in bed. I need to figure this out....Stay tune!