Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Tomorrow is weigh in day. It is what it is.  If its down great, if it’s the same great, if its up it will be back off soon. I know what I have eaten the last few days (weeks).  As my trainer said “What you eat in private shows in public” pretty powerful statement.

My foot is feeling better, I even did 4 rounds of burpees (15 reps) with no pain to far today!  I did a great bootcamp session today! It was one of those ones that kick your ass, and make you walk out soaked in sweat.  But later that night you feel so good and energized from it.

Right now I am ready to crash on the couch.  Earlier, after arriving home from bootcamp, we had dinner and worked in the garden.  I had so many tomatoes ready that I started making sauce tonight.  I am so tired and it still has so much more time to simmer…I may pour it into the crock pot.

Last night my facebook post showed the following photos with the caption: “Think its not possible, think again.  effort = results


Tuesday, August 30, 2011

where is that wagon?

Some times when we camp at private campgrounds they have hayrides!  You check in and they give you the schedule of events and you see that the hayrides are at 430.  You think oh that’s easy to remember.  The next thing you know you hear a tractor and music and its 4:35.  There goes the first wagon ride.  You grab the kids and go searching for that darn wagon.
I have been looking for the wagon this past week.   It all started after my 10K – I just couldn’t get enough to eat.  And then it happened. 

I don’t remember the first bite. I don’t remember the day or the time.  But I know it happened, there is a lot of PB missing out of the jar.  My husband asked “why are there so many Peanut butter covered spoons in the sink?”  You know it is. You take a spoon from the jar and get a big scoop.  You savor it as you empty the spoon.  You put the spoon in the sink because you were only going to have one scoop.  oh But it was so good, what's one more bite?  You get another spoon out and when you are done it too goes in the sink.  Well Peanut butter is a protein, so third spoon in the sink.  Sound familiar?

I never weigh in last week because I was camping and not at work. But I was basically the same weight.  After camping for a few days, then having to evacuate the campground because of Irene we were home Saturday afternoon.  So what did we do – we went to a fair for dinner – I had chicken kabobs with pita bread.  But during Sunday’s rain and wind, I baked and I baked and I tested and I baked, some more.  I have no idea how many calories I consumed.

Yesterday I got back on track – detoxed myself of PB (yes it’s in the garbage…) and carbs.  I ate pretty good – well within my calories.  But I was bad on water – I really didn’t drink any L bad Me.  I also got in 3 walks at work and a 4 mile run….however.

Today my foot is wrapped and elevated. It started Saturday, we were walking thru the parking lot at the fair and I was reading something from one of the vendors.  I had flip flops on and didn’t see the pot hole.  I didn’t fall but it was the unexpected step – you know think you are walking along fine and your foot is 3 inches lower in a hole. It didn’t hurt till later that night and despite standing on it all day while cooking Sunday it really didn’t hurt.  Yesterday it felt fine until after my run. Now it’s wrapped an elevated.  It’s not busied or swollen.  I have been icing it – not sure if I need to take a trip to the doctor to have it checked or if it will just get better on its own.

Not that my foot is in any way related to my lack of motivation this week.  I kind of feel in a funk.  I didn’t want to leave the campground early, I didn’t want to deal with the rain all day Sunday, and I just didn’t want to lose weight anymore.  I really was annoyed that I have been at this for so long and I just wanted to be maintenance.  I was bored with losing.  Sometimes it really can be exhausting.  But I am over that funk now and back on track and focused….2 days till weight – game time!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

My First 10K - Turning Stone Casino races!

OMG I am dead tired tonight!  Finally my 10K run was here!  After all the stress of this week and lack of running this week,  today was the day!  My husband went with me (my mom and sisters watched the kids!).    I really didn’t know what to expect but I knew I had to do my best. 

All week I had been talking to Jennifer because this was her first 10K too!  It was very exciting! 

Here is our prerace photo!


Jennifer was so kind to point out that we get metals.  I have never earned a metal or a trophy or anything like that!  I was so excited! 

Here is my official prerace photo!


The event was held about 10miles from my house!  The 188 10K runners started with the half marathoners!   Around mile 5 they split off to the little city of Sherrill before coming back to the casino that was putting on the event.  


The first mile was basically on the grounds of the casino, then mile 2 was on a typical country road that I would run at home.  The next two miles were on a main road uphill.  I was really proud of myself. I only had to stop twice to walk the hill.  I walked for less than 20 seconds each time – I just needed to regroup. 

After that it was a nice down hill run to the golf course where there was finally a second water table.  The best part was knowing that I was over 1/2 way and I could see the casino!  Most of the remaining course was flat but that last mile seemed to go on forever.  I heard from several people with racing watches that they clocked us at 6.6 miles not 6.2.  The final stretch of the road was up another steep hill.  that killed me. I was so tired and sore.  I again had to walk twice.  Finally on the grounds of the casino I pushed forward and gave it everything I had to finish with a decent time.


I didn’t have a watch so I really wasn’t sure what I was doing time wise.  They had a clock at the 1 mile mark that said it took me 10:10.  Then again at mile 3 was a clock showing 31:13.  So I was off my 5K pace.

Also a funny thing happened to me.. at the 2mile marker I could feel a blister forming on my left foot.  WTF these sneakers have over 30 miles on them and a mountain climb.  They didn’t have another clock until the 5mile mark that showed 52mins and some odd seconds.  That really surprised me I really thought I was going to be over an hour at that point.  My goal was to finish between 70-80 minutes.


check out that time! it only took me 8 minutes! ha ha just kidding my official stats! 

I placed 104th overall

58th among the 121 Females

16/39 in my division. 

My official time was 1:08:00

With a pace of 10:57 per mile!

I am so excited that I finished with such a great time!  Seriously it couldn’t of been any better.  I am so excited and tired!! lol

Here is Jennifer and I after the race!  Sweaty and happy with our Medals!    Great job!!! yeah us!


They had bagels and fruit for after the race! I was so hungry.  I had 1/2 a bagel with Peanut butter ( I know I know – but I had to have it!) and a banana.  then I got home and ate some chips thing in my goodie bag.  Omg by the time lunch came around I only had 80 calories left for the day.

I was just tired and snacky.  So today may not be a day I lose weight but today was a day that increased my fitness and over all health!  I am so excited to earn a metal! I have it hanging over my fireplace right now!

012 (2)

I used this experience on my motivational blog at check it out if you want. I a great story about a kid puking too!  lol

Saturday, August 20, 2011

About Me…

I am hoping to help motivate some people at bootcamp, work and in my life.  I didn’t want to give them full access to my life since this blog is more for me to vent and track my progress.  I have my loyal reads that all understand because you are right there with me.  So I started a new blog that I am going to post some tools and tips on.  But I wanted to share with you my new “About Me” page.

Welcome to my life battle. where to start? I have always been heavy, its has always been a battle for me. At the very least I have always remembered having a distorted body image of myself. I felt out of place.
Photo 1983
As I am writing this, I realize to make this meaningful I need to talk about my weigh in terms of numbers - as a women that is like walking a way from chocolate while PMS. The horror, I am going to post my weight online for all to see. However, I believe that most of you are here reading with the best of intentions and will respect that I am sharing, in hopes, of helping someone (even if it is just one person). So please no judgments or gossip, these are the facts of my life and I am taking action!

I remember going to the Nurses office in Clinton Elementary and getting on the scale. I think I was in 5th grade. It was 103 pounds. I knew that was more then the other kids but I didn't know how much more. That inner-accountant in me told me that 3 digits is not good. I was so afraid to tell my mom because I was embarrassed. What do you do about it when you are in 5th grade? I knew I needed to 'Diet" but I didn't know what Diet meant.  And then it started…

I remember being around 180-190 my freshman and sophomore years of high school.  I basically avoided all scales so short of requesting medical files, I do not have an accurate number.  By some miracle..okay a growth spurt, I lost a lot of weigh around 11th grade and managed to feel good about myself . I weigh in at about 150.  Check out my rocking prom photo!  The Class of 1997 Jr. Prom!!
College came and with it the freshmen 15 per semester. By the time I graduated college I was about 80 pounds heavier than high school. So that’s about 20 pounds a year.  I walked down that aisle as a fat bride ..about 235. Over the next few years I hid from my fat by eating more. I slowly moved up about 20 more pounds.

After my son was born, in 2005,  I lost my job and a bit of winter depression pushed me up higher. In Feb 2007 I signing up for weigh watchers at work and weighed in at 273 pounds.
Seeing that number was like a gun shot to the chest. In about 4 months time I was able to get down to 240. For the rest of 2007, I stayed in and  around the 240’s.  I even played softball that year with some girls from work.

New Years Day 2008 was a changing moment for me. I woke up new years and I was sick of everything: Sick of how I felt, sick of how I looked, what clothes I had. That moment was enhanced by that weight loss competition at work. By June of 2008 I was down 46 pounds to 201! Life was great. I have some great photos from that summer of me!
By fall I was pregnant, and to avoid morning sickness, I was eating carbs like mad.  I was 280 something when i gave birth in July 2009...that summer I was able to get down to 249 but gained it back during the holidays.
So there I was on January 1st 2010..263 pounds, ugh. I started working out and watching what I was eating. I ended up losing about 18 pounds by June 1 - or 1 pound a week. But it was frustrating.  I would lose and then gain.  I just was at the end of my rope when….The local TV news station teamed up with a local trainer for a contest.  You would have full access to Next Level and all summer to lose weight.   The contest was call MV Biggest Winner - could this be what I needed?

Yes it was by the end of the contest I was down 25 pounds. I have not stopped!  I am stronger and more confident then all the years past.

Before Contest Photo After Contest Photo
Dirty little secret of the above before photo – those are maternity clothes that I was still wearing – even thought Emma was 11 months old.

This spring moved into ONEderland! I now feel anything is possible! I figure I spent 12 years, or my entire twenties, in 200s.  Lost time. .

My new lifestyle is very busy and active.  I attend bootcamp during the week, run or hike on the weekends.  I love to try new food ideas!  Trying to make something I love to eat healthy and good for me.  I have basically cut 90% of processed food, and recently over came my addition to peanut butter.  I still have a way to go, I binge on food, chocolate is my drug of choice, and some things I could just do differently.  But I will hit my target weight of 154

I wish I could tell you I had a magic pill but I don’t.  I don’t have all the answers, but what I can tell you  is: what I did, what I do, and how it happens to work for me.  I just hope to inspire you to move past the bumps in the road that you run into.

In order to progress and succeed, you need to work for it – and its hard work.  You have to be your boss, your coach, your biggest cheerleader.  You need to turn off the negative voice that you will run into and keep moving forward.

So there you have it my 31+ years rolled into one blog post.  In case you are trying to do the math, as of this week (8/17/11), I weighed in at 177.  I am 23 pounds from my prom photo weight, also knows as my target weight.  I will get there and I hope you will too!

Thursday, August 18, 2011


Boy was I surprised to see a loss this morning on the scale.  I figured I would be the same to slightly lower.  But I came in at 2.6 pounds less  177 BABY!! How sweet is that?

Have you ever thought of becoming a personal trainer.  So often when I read success stories in magazines I find that the people have become PT.  It has me thinking. Would I want to do that? hmm maybe.

My plan for today was to go running but holly heck it was like 90 degrees when I got home from work.  So instead I went to bootcamp.  Not sure what to do for the rest of the weekend. This 10K has me freaked out.  Whats an extra mile right from what I normally run right.

I am going to feel so good once this darn thing is over!! Come on sunday.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Everything happens for a reason…

Yeah that’s a hard pill to swallow some days.  Its a lot easier to hand out that advice then take.   My stress is at a max, I am stressed about my 10K on Sunday, I have had allergy issues that makes me feel like a sinus infection and now my babysitter gave me notice.  So I am calling people to find openings for a 2year old and before and aftercare in my district.   

Right now I am looking at my son going to his first day of kindergarten and my daughter going to a new daycare a day apart.  Oh and that week my husband has to have a procedure.  Thank god we are going away soon.  I need the break. 

This week my trainer introduced me to some people and he told them “Kristen has lost almost 100 pounds.”  In this journey I am at 84 pounds that’s not almost 100 pounds – well according to my inter –accountant.   But it got me to thinking…

In Feb 2007 I had an scary moment on a WW scale – it read 273.  That year I got down to 243 before gaining 10 pounds back at the holidays.  2008 saw me lose 50 pounds getting down to 201 before getting pregnant.  In 2009 I saw 280 the day I  delievered, at one point I got down to 249 before gaining again.  So January 2010 I was at 263.

I have always counted my weight loss from the restart of my journey on January 2010 (263.8), but maybe I should go from 273.  Really I have lost almost 100. 

What do you think?  What would or do you use?  I have updated my sidebar to show both, for now.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Rest day

I don’t know what it was, the jump ropes, running, walking around at the party but I woke up this am and my legs were so sore. I decided to make today my rest day.  But I was on my feet for most of the day.  Darn housework!

Back at it tomorrow, work and working out.  Have a great night!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

200 jump ropes and potatoes with butter

Let’s just start by saying “omg, I am so sore”. My trainer moved to a new bigger facility this week, and we have new ‘toys” now.  Needless to say going to 4 days of bootcamp has my muscles ripped apart.  I am not complaining it’s the kind of sore muscles that I have become addicted for!  We did some major arm work this week!!  This morning I couldn’t even shampoo my hair!  Yesterdays workout:

  • 100 KB Swing
  • 50 pushups
  • 50 TRX rows
  • 25 medball smash
  • 30 burpees
  • 50 KB high swing
  • 200 jump ropes

I was really surprised that I could jump rope.  I did 44 before tripping up.  Its an insane level of cardio especially after burpees, medballs and high swings.   In other news this week I moved up to dark green –28kg Kettlebell (62 pounds).  I was so tired last night.  I went to bed at 930 and slept till 730.

I did a 6miles run today. It wasn’t pretty but it was done.  I also drove the course for next weeks 10K  the first half is basically up hill Sad smile  and there is not really a down hill it just levels out.

So after my run, was a bday party for my gf son 2nd bday.  At the party was the annoying bitch I had I have been having issues with.  She had gastric around the same time I started my journey.  But when people ask her about her weight loss she tells them its because she works out (which she does but why didn’t she do that a year ago ?).   Besides all this she has metal issues and takes pills to “Deal” with her life. she is always the victim.  And no matter what I do it upsets her.

I ate good today before the party.  I had egg white omelet, a cup of coffee, protein shake and a slice of a low fat diabetic zucchini bread.  The party was at 2pm and they had pulled pork, salads and salt potatoes.  I filled my plate with what I wanted and limited myself to that plate.  I had pulled pork no bun, 2 slices of watermelon, a creamy fruit salad, a tomato and cuke salad that I made, 2 slices of tomato pie and pretzels with dip (that I made).  

I also had salt potatoes (they are a northeast thing – so you may not know about them if you are from other parts of the world) basically they are baby potatoes boiled in very very salty water.  Then they pour melted butter over them.  If you go to the NY State fair each cup has 3 potatoes and 1/2 stick of melted butter in it.  you are hungry now right?  So I had 3 – I have not had them in forever. 

I know that I didn’t eat well but I controlled myself on seconds and I had planned for it.  Gastric girl freaked…there was nothing she could eat. she ended up eating a hot dog, watermelon and stuff off the veggie tray.  She was hoping to eat a potato but was annoyed to hear they had already put butter on them.  She kept saying that she was so disappointed that she couldn’t eat a potato.  That was all she was looking forward to.  She was unhappy the rest of the time till the cake and ice cream came out.  She was handing it out to avoid being asked by someone else if she wanted any.  The answer of course was no because she would probably puke if she ate. 

Now I did eat some just because I am evil and a bitch.  I wanted her to see that I can have cheat meals and I can eat badly and still look amazing and be happy with my progress.  that was all ate.  When we got home at 8pm I had some pretzels and a cheese stick.

I spent most of the day in my bathing suit and not because I was swimming. Because I had to jump in and pull my son out who got in the pool without a floating device.  He couldn’t touch the bottom so I had to jump in and get him to the edge.   I figured I will share a bathing suit photo with you from our vacation:


Have a good one

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Breaking in the sneakers-Adirondack style

When we came back from vacation I purchased a new pairs of sneakers.  Sneakers that I had planned to wear in my upcoming 10K.  So I had to break them in. 

First I wore them around the house, then I went for a run and longer run.  But I just felt like I need more room near my big toe.  It was fine if I was walking but then running it hurt.

So this weekend we were camping in the Adirondacks with plans to hike a mountain.  I wore my new sneakers, I figured going down the mountain would smash everything to front and stretch them out.

Its not a high mountain but worth the views!

the top of rock

Its about a mile round trip and perfect for breaking in a 2year old to hiking!

szareks 2011

And for breaking in new sneakers!  I went for a run tonight and my toes were not the issue…my lack of motivation was!  (2 weeks till the 10K and the most I have run is 5.25miles…stay tuned!)

taking it to the top

Friday, August 5, 2011

Stuffed Zucchini

Its that time of year where the garden starts pumping out Zucchini and Squash.  this is a great way to use some of it! its easily altered to your taste.

Here’s what you need:


  • 2 good size squashes for stuffing
  • 1 turkey pattie
  • 4 slices of turkey bacon
  • Feta cheese
  • Steamfresh rice with tomatoes, spinach and onions
  • 2 tablespoons of EVOO
  • 1 Tablespoon of minced garlic
  • Italian seasoning

Start by slicing  about 1/4 off the squash lengthwise, then add it to a pan of boiling water till its fork tender

Cook the turkey pattie and bacon in a pan while the rice steams in the microwave

Remove the Turkey from the pan and set aside while it cools down.  in the pan add the evoo, garlic and rice. Chop of the turkey and bacon and add to the pan along with Salt, pepper and seasoning.


Mix well and let everything get warm and blended.  remove from heat and add about 1/2 cup of the feta cheese.



scoop the middle of your squash out. I take the seeds out first and trash them. Then some of the squash. I like about 1/4 inch wall. I add the removed squash to the rice mixture


Scoop the rice mixture into the squash boats.


Looks yummy right?! So one squash feeds my family.  its great with a salad.  I just put the other one in a freezer bag and save it for later this fall/winter


you can add more veggies like cukes, tomatoes ect.  you could even add bread crumbs.

Now that the garden is producing watch for more.   I have been tagging lots of yummy ideas!

My pinterest boards

Thursday, August 4, 2011

WI and craving

Today was weigh in after two weeks.  I was down 2 pounds!  So I guess my vacation rules worked!
A few hours later mother nature showed up.  and right now I want to kick her butt! I will spend the next week undoing the damage I did this afternoon.
Today is the first time I really wanted peanut butter, since I said goodbye.  I  have easily ate 600 calories in the last 2 hours.   All I want is a damn spoonful of pb but I said goodbye.  now I am eating everything in site.  I am suppose to be grocery shopping but I fear what I may bring home if were to go.
well at the very least I will pack the camper since we are leaving tomorrow for the Adirondacks.  today is my rest day (minus my 4 mile walk) which is good because my back is killing me.  I may have a date with the tennis ball tonight to workout some knots!!
Have a great one!!! Smile

Monday, August 1, 2011

Scale is on Vacation

One week ago I was sitting by the campfire right now!!! ugh today was reality back to work again.  I tried to lock myself in my office.

I have learned a few things over the last week. One, I did really well on vacation.  I was so worried that I was I was messing up, not active enough and I didn’t track my food at all.  I was still having a great time but I was expecting to see a gain when we returned.   I was 184 at the gym scale on Friday before vacation.  When we returned on Thursday I was 182.8?!? Seriously?

OMG I was so excited!  Then Friday morning my home scale showed the same thing.  I did a run on Friday morning and was pretty good with my eating because I was running errands.  Saturday morning the scale was a bit lower.  That leads me to the 2nd thing I learned I need to send the scale on vacation.

I think I took my liberties on Saturday knowing the scale was low. we went out to eat and I had bread, I ordered a sandwich and salad with really bad dressing.  I had cookies with the kids I had 4 cups of coffee and no water.  I think I ate Emma's left over mac n cheese for lunch.  So what did I see on Sunday and this morning 183.

I need to stop weighing myself, I hold it together better without knowing.  so I am thinking of packing up my scale and sending it on a tour of our area via the waste mgmt. team!  My home scale never matches the nurse’s at work.  Which is my officially number for each week.

Do you over weigh yourself?